Down With Pooh's Adventures!
by Calem de Vaniville
Summary: Pooh and other Disney characters are sick of those annoying Pooh's Adventures videos. They plan to get their revenge. They also read a magazine about people with extra nipples. Rated M for strong language.


**_DISCLAIMER: _**_I do not own Pooh or other Disney characters. They are property of Disney. Don't worry; I love Disney too. I just thought that we'd have some fun._

_This story is rated M for extreme language, constant talk about nipples, and lame jokes._

_The statements about nipples are true - at least to the superstitious-minded peasants of old, who believed that the third nipple was what witches used to suckle Satan. If any of you have a third nipple, try keeping that in mind. It's cool. But no...Yoko Ono doesn't really have three nipples._

* * *

**THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS**

**POOH'S ADVENTURES OF NIPPLES**

One day, in the Hundred Acre Woods, Piglet had gotten something exciting. He ran over to Tigger, Pooh, and Rabbit to see.

"Guys! Guys!" said Piglet. "I have something cool in my latest issue of Celebrities Exposed!"

"What is it?" asked Pooh.

"You mean Madonna has adopted the entire country of Malawi?" asked Tigger.

"No!" said Piglet. "It lists every star who has been proven to have three nipples."

"Let me see the list!" said Pooh.

"Okay," said Piglet. "Here's the list."

Everyone read the list.

"Wow!" said Pooh. "I can't believe all these fucking nipples."

"Look how many she has!" said Tigger. "She's got more than Lily Allen!"

"That guy has one on his ass!" said Rabbit.

"And he has a whole cluster of them!" said Piglet.

"I haven't felt this hyper since I spilled a pack of Billy Zabka's Penis Pills!" said Tigger.

"This is better than any Pooh's Adventures," said Pooh. "I am so fucking tired of Pooh's Adventures. We don't get to talk about drugs or sex or celebrities or any of that fun stuff! We have to be G-rated pussies while we get crossed over with bad Lion King OCs."

"We'll show these to our girlfriends," said Tigger.

"But Kanga's the only girl in the woods," said Rabbit. "And she's not into any of us."

"No," said Piglet. "The Disney girls! They are our girlfriends. Their boys won't mind."

Pooh and his friends went over to the Disney Girls' Club, where Minnie Mouse, Daisy Duck, Tinkerbell, Cinderella, and Ariel were hanging out.

"Hey, ladies!" said Pooh.

"Hey, sailor," said Tinkerbell, striking a pose.

"Are you sick of Pooh's Adventures too?" said Minnie.

"Yes," said Piglet.

"We are so fucking sick of Pooh's Adventures," said Cinderella. "They interrupted my bed session with my husband just so they could drag me into another video. Never mind that I was naked. They quickly airbrushed a dress on me."

"Good," said Ariel. "We were thinking of firebombing the Pooh's Adventures Studio. It's worse than Sonichu."

"Cool!" said Piglet. "Read this?"

Piglet gave the magazine to Ariel.

"Yoko Ono has a third nipple?" said Ariel.

"Yes," said Piglet.

"A third nipple means that she is a witch," said Cinderella. "The nipple is used to suckle the Devil."

"Yoko Ono is a witch," said Daisy Duck. "She broke up the Beatles!"

Everyone laughed.

"We'll need to find a way to destroy Pooh's Adventure Studios," said Piglet. "We'll help you bomb them."

Outside, a Pooh's Adventures studio truck was driving. The truck was full of upcoming Pooh's Adventure movies. The driver in it was a 12-year-old girl dressed in an outfit that showed more skin than Misty's Goldeen outfit from Pokemon. Other people were in the car too, including adults. Her truck was blasting crappy Hannah Montana songs. These people made Pooh's Adventures videos.

"Okay," said Tinkerbell. "First thing we'll need to do is get rid of that truck."

"Pooh, go put the spike on the road," said Minnie Mouse.

"Okay," said Pooh.

Pooh put a spike where the truck would be in 27 seconds. When those seconds went to pass, the truck hit the spike. It skidded off the road and fell off a cliff. Some strange violin music played while the truck tumbled down the cliff and exploded.

"Yay!" said everyone.

"That showed those bastards," said Piglet.

"Who will we destroy next?" asked Pooh.

"Let's destroy Keeping Up with the Kardashians next," said Ariel.

"Okay," said Tigger.

**THE END**

**Did you not get the message the first time?**

**Please put an end to underage driving...and overage kiddie crossover videos. Like Pooh's Adventures.**


End file.
